Are You Really Coping Through COVID-19?
As we all try to settle into our new normal, strategically coping with everything has never been more important.
Something I want to start off by saying though is that Coping and distractions are two different things
Coping is defined as how someone deals effectively with something difficult
Whereas distractions are defined as a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else
I have said constantly for the last 4 weeks that everyone needs to cope with what is happening and that we all will get to that acceptance stage at our own pace.
The reason I say at your own pace is because we all need time to grieve. We are all grieving over a world that once was, a world that will never be the same again. This grieving process right now is no different than when we lose someone important in our lives. We all grieve and accept that loss at different rates.
But during this process of grieving for a lot of people, I’m finding that we are getting coping and distraction confused
Setting up a morning routine, a schedule for day and even a night time routine for yourself or ensuring you are journaling, mediating and exercising are all different strategic forms of coping
Whereas…
Sitting and scrolling social media all day and letting the news consume you is not coping. It’s hitting the pause button on life and letting distraction take over. This lack of self-awareness for what’s going on an actively trying to accept what’s going on is only going to prolong the grieving process.
Listen, I know it feels like your life has been put on hold... And the last thing you want to do is think about what’s really going on. It’s the easy way out to just try to distract yourself from the bigger issues at hand.
So I get it.
But ignoring your emotions has a way of exploding in our faces later on. We’ve all been through that, where we suppress our emotions for too long, right? Eventually we explode and who’s in the line of fire? Typically, people we care about… Our spouses, or even our kids.
I know it’s easy to ignore your emotions and stay distracted now. But the repercussions later on hardly seem worth it.
So what can you do?
1. Set an intention each day
This is the first thing I do in the mornings as soon as I wake up. I really find it helps me set the tone for the day. I try setting an intention by just listing three words that I want this day to be filled of.
Joy
Love
Passion
Hard work
Fun
These are just a few of my words that I often use to set the tone for my day and sometimes they change and quite often they remain the same each day. But it gives me something to hold myself accountable to.
You can’t just set your intention with some words though and think that’s going to make your day better. You have to check in with yourself and ensure you are acting in congruent with the intention you have set for the day
So for example, if my intention for today was to have fun but I notice throughout the day that I being grumpy and short to those around me, I try to catch myself and redirect my actions. I find the best way to be proactive and successful with having a fun day is to have an alarm in your phone to go off multiple times a day as a reminder
“Today is all about fun”
And that will allow you to follow through with your intention versus just saying a bunch of feel good words first thing in the morning and then doing nothing with those words
If you decide that your intention for today is to “take it easy”, there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s how you cope. That’s how you follow through with your plan you set out for yourself
But if you’re intention is to relax and read a book today and you are checking social media and the news every 30 mins... you aren’t coping. You are letting distraction win and that leaves no room for you to win
2. Set a schedule for yourself
I don’t know about you, but I thrive on to-do lists. It could be something so small like “walk the dog” and I will put it on the list just so I can have the joy and satisfaction of crossing it off the list. It creates that level of accomplishment that we all need that Netflix isn’t going to give us each day
So even though we are all stuck at home right now and there might not be much to do, create a schedule for yourself. Even schedule in an episode or two or Netflix. That will help hold your accountable so you don’t go off the wagon and watch 100 hours in one sitting not realizing where the day went.
The reason people are so easily doing this right now is because they have nothing else that they have scheduled for themselves. So schedule in the times during the day you are going to eat, schedule in the walk with the dog, schedule in your workout session for yourself, schedule in some reading and time spent with family and schedule in some downtime
Some might be shaking their heads right now thinking that this sounds obsessive. But didn’t we do all those things when we were going off to work? We indirectly scheduled when we would eat, spend time with our families and exercise. So why should it be any different now that we are all working from home?
It shouldn’t be
And if you want to feel accomplished each day versus just feeling like all your days are blending and rotting away, I encourage you to take this step seriously
3. Journaling
This is the most underrated coping strategy if you really want to get a handle on your emotions and take control of your life. This allows us to create a level of self-awareness in us that we are all lacking. We’re so consumed with social media and media in general right now that we aren’t taking the time to ask ourselves what person we want to be, how do we want our grandkids to remember us after this experience, where do we want to be after all of this and what do we want our legacies to be?
All of these questions can be answered and of course of evolve if we take some time to journal. It’s one of the strongest tools for self -reflection and personal development
I wanted to share something with you that I read on social media the other day:
“So many people have already watched 100 hours of shows but didn’t spend a single hour journaling about who they want to become, what they want life to feel like and be about, what they really need and love and appreciate, what they are struggling with, how they would like to contribute, what they are proud of and working on, what emotions are happening and why, what their strengths and purposes are, what they could learn or how they can create more happiness for others”
You don’t get clarity… you seek it.
4. Set new goals
Listen…
They can shut down the outside world, but they can’t take away your dreams
Refreshing your social media every hour is not coping... its distracting you from what you truly need right now and it’s not helping
So getup each day and set an intention. What are you going to focus on today? what’s your purpose for today?
Maybe you are struggling to do this right now because you are stuck in the past thinking about what you would have been doing if covid-19 wasn’t a think. I get it. All of our short-term goals and ambitions for 2020 have changed. But instead of getting caught up in the what could have been mindset, I really encourage you to be ok with setting NEW short-term goals for yourself right now. Just for your overall sanity.
Listen, all of us are being effected negatively in more ways than one right now. The best thing we can do is try to be as adaptable as possible and focus on what we can control
If prior to this, your goals were to hit a strength PR on squats in the gym... unless you are capable of going out to buy a squat rack, you might have to let that short term goal go for awhile
Instead of dwelling and letting that eat at you, it’s time to focus on some new short term goals. Maybe your new short term goals are to be able to do a pistol squat, or maybe get your first 20 push-ups in 90secs, how about how long you can hold a plank? We’re never too good for BW movements, so don’t underestimate the difficulty of bodyweight movements
My short term goals had to change... I might not make gains during this time and I’m ok with that. Instead, my goals are shifting to help people right now, and to try to MAINTAIN what I’ve built. If I can progress, great.
But it’s not my priority right now.
Be ok with maintaining your results during this time, try to be a role model to those around you and be adaptable and open to new short-term goals
This new obstacle will make your story that much more inspiring when you overcome it.
So please stop hitting that pause button. I know the world seems out of your control right now, but you can always control your world.
Stay safe my friends and take care of yourselves
Coach Krysten